feeling so good...and then frustration sets in

It was a pretty good day.  Weather was sunny and in the 70's.  Perfect sweater weather in the morning and then not too hot in the afternoon, just warm enough to go without the sweater.  My classes went well.  Then I had to sit in the student success room in the library for like an hour.  Why?  Because I needed to talk to this lady about filling out some paperwork for my new job as a notetaker in my sociology class.  Basically if there is someone who has trouble taking notes during class for whatever reason, to the point of it affecting their ability to study and do well on quizzes and tests, then the academic assistance office or whatever it's called hires someone in their class to take notes for them.  So that's what I do now.  And therefore I needed to stop by the office and fill out the stuff.  Well apparently a lot of other people needed to talk to this woman as well.  I was there for what felt like forever.  And then I just quickly filled something out and had to head over to the business office to get even more paperwork.  I seriously think it is going to take longer to fill out all the forms for this job than it will to actually do the work.

And I never like going to the business office.  I don't know what they do over there but I think they enjoy frustrating people and making life difficult for people.  People like me.  I got a lovely email from them today saying that there is now a business hold on my account because I have a balance remaining on my account and the due date for all that stuff was august 1st.  I know this.  I also know that my parents have had many long and painful conversations with both the business office and the financial office trying to explain the fact that I have an outside scholarship from a source that sends the money for all of their scholarships out on september 8th.  And they have done this for years and years.

I am seriously wondering about the population of students here if the school has never had one of these scholarships to deal with before.  Do all other outside scholarships comply with their august 1st deadline?  Or are there a lot of people dealing with dumb email threats on a regular basis?  I'm kind of tired of it.  Especially when it starts saying things about deactivating my food services and stuff.  Like, seriously people?  The money is coming.  You have to be able to work with people on this stuff.  If they say it's coming by a certain date, don't keep threatening them until that date has passed.  Ugh.  I'm just a little frustrated.  And I hate that I have this to come back to at the end of what had really been a pretty nice day.  I went to mass and then thought I was just going to have something in the room for dinner, but then saw my bible study leader on the way back from mass and she invited me to eat with her so that was nice.  And then mean emails from silly business office people who have no idea what they were talking about.  It just really gets me going thinking about the dumb emails they send.  They have to have some ability to control who gets these emails.  It's just like when I was applying to the school and then got accepted and then they still regularly sent me emails asking me to apply!  Again, seriously?  Surely you can take people off the "send email reminders about application deadlines" list once they've been accepted to the school.

Those are the kind of things that really bother me about the administration here.  Do any of the people in these really important offices like business, financial aid, admissions ever talk to each other and communicate about issues with particular students that don't deal specifically with one more so than the other?  I'm just so frustrated.  And now my parents and I have to do this whole thing all over again.  Have the same conversations, explain the same thing to the same people for like the millionth time.  I'm tired of it.

And now that I check my account I find that the scholarship has been received and I actually have a credit on my account from changing my meal plan.  So they owe me money...and they're putting a hold on my account.  Makes perfect sense, right?  Ha.  Ugh.  And I have to provide two forms of identification for these people as part of this paperwork crap.  I don't have my social security card or my birth certificate or my passport with me.  Why would I?  Does anyone take all of that stuff to college with them?  And you don't mail that stuff.  It's kinda important.  Ugh.  So basically today was a day that went from I'm feeling good to ugh.  That about sums it up.

Some quotes from rediscovering catholicism to make things better? Sounds good to me.

Philippians 4:8 "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things"

"If you can direct what happens in your mind, you can direct what happens in your life."

"In every waking moment of every hour of every day, [the saints] were contemplating the life and teachings of Jesus Christ."

"To be Catholic means to be striving to become more like Jesus.  If we are serious about being Catholic, we must then place our attention on Jesus and the ways we can apply his teachings to modern living."

"The actions of your life are determined by your last most dominant thought."

****love**** "The proud must content themselves with mediocrity.  Excellence belongs to the humble."

"Whatever you do, don't dialogue with the devil.  He always has more questions than you have answers...the back and forth will wear you out.  Eventually you will give into the sin out of sheer exhaustion or just to end the dialogue."

"Replace the dialogue of temptation with a dialogue of prayer."

"Get to know yourself, and every relationship in your life will improve."

"Self-knowledge breeds the ultimate form of compassion."

"Who we become is infinitely more important than what we do or what we have."

St. Francis (of Assisi?)  "Remember, you are what you are in the eyes of God, and nothing else."

"Reconciliation is a gift.  Behold the beauty.  Embrace the treasure."

Also included in the chapter I just read is the poem "The Touch of the Master's Hand" by Myra B. Welch which Kelly prefaces with the statement, "Amazing things are possible if we allow the Master to lay his hands on our lives."

'Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile.
"What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?"
"A dollar, a dollar," then two!  Only two?
"Two dollars, and who'll make it three?
"Three dollars, once; three dollars twice;
Going for three..." But no,
From the room, far back, a grey haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
The, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.
The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said, "What am I bid for the old violin?"
And held it up with the bow.
"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?
Two thousand!  And who'll make it three?
Three thousand, once; three thousand twice;
And going and gone," said he.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,
"We do not quite understand
What changed its worth?"  Swift came the reply:
"The touch of a master's hand."

And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd
Much like the old violin.
A "mess of potage" a glass of wine;
A game - and he travels on.
He is "going" once, and "going" twice,
He's "going" and almost "gone."
But the Master comes and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul
       and the change that's wrought
By the touch of the master's hand.

Pretty cool I think.  I love to go through while reading this book and underlining some phrases that really stick out to me or make me think.  It's nice to flip through and see the underlined sentences and get that quick little bit of encouragement or that quote that makes me remember that life probably isn't as bad as I might think.  So hopefully you find something here that encourages you or makes you smile or even better makes you think and makes you want to do whatever it takes to become the best version of yourself.  And I wish that I could convey in english the awesomeness that is my spanish mystics class.  It's a great class and I absolutely love it even though I am really intimidated by it.  I'm also intimidated by the professor, but at the same time I think he's amazing.  He's so smart and makes everything St. Ignatius says in his spiritual exercises even more intense and just awesome than it already is.  But you wouldn't understand if I posted quotes from those readings because, sometimes, even I don't understand them.  The stuff we're reading is in spanish.  From when spanish was still trying to figure out how it was different from latin.  So it's kind of tough.  But it really makes me want to go on ignatian style retreat.  It would be really intense but it would be an ultimately good for you challenge.  And it makes me want to do more ignation style meditation, since that's basically what you do at these retreats...

Enough ranting for now.  I should do homework or something, but now I'm almost too tired.  Talk about an unproductive day.  You know, I started writing this at like 7ish.  And 4 plus hours later...